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| Pain is total bullshit. |
Put down the phone. No one call 911. I am not going to hurt myself, I am just saying I have reached my limit.
This all started in November. The sinus headaches started, the migraines started. That is a long fucking time to be hurting. A fucking long time of not feeling like myself, of bottling up the Ugly Cries because they make the pain worse. I miss having a goddamn Ugly Cry that just makes me feel better instead of worse. I miss hanging out with my family in the evenings, I miss watching my favorite shows. I miss hanging out with my friends. I miss cleaning my house. Now who the hell says that?! I miss blogging on a regular basis. I miss crocheting. I feel like a burden and it BLOWS.
Gee, I sound like a whiny twat don't I? Oh well. This blog is my outlet and this is me purging my head. There are so many things I am looking forward to doing after my surgery. Thank fucking god it is in 3 days.
That is all.
4 comments:
When I woke up in the hospital after my sinus surgery...even with 10 feet of gauze shoved up my nose!....I felt the best I'd felt in a year. And it's just gotten better since then.
I hope you'll be the same.
I'll be pulling for you.
I've been dealing with sporadic chronic pain (although not as severe as yours) for the past five years or so. Some days you think you can't take it any more and just want to throw in the towel. Sometimes I want to sleep for a week and think I'll magically feel better when I awake. Plus, you're not in pain when you're asleep. Hey, if you've held out this long, you can hold out for three more days. Hang in there! It will be worth it.
I wuv woo. Counting down with you.
Good luck with the surgery!
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